The HCL Rap...

If only I could get Andy Samberg to produce this...

(Reads like an SNL Short Rap)

Hairy Cell Leukemia
ain't got nothin on me (echo Denzel audio clip from training day)

Killin' you with Cladribine (picture of chemo treatment and 2-CdA)
just wait and see

You're crowdin out my marrow
but that's okay,
'cuz In the end you're gonna die
I got Dr. K (show picture of Dr. K)

Givin' you a left hook (Shot of Rocky hitting Drago)
with Rituximab
I'm takin' you out...
You ain't so bad! (clip of Rocky yellin' 'You ain't so bad' at Clubber Lang)

They're taking blood
week after week
and vial after vial

I can't believe I got you,
but I'm not in denial

Don't try to run
'cuz I'm gonna cream ya

for causin' marker diseases
like hypocholesterolemia

Bone Marrow Biopsy? (show a clip of a biopsy)
I say "Bring it On" (echo clip of Bush saying 'Bring it on')

I'll take you on and kill you
it won't be long

Monitorin what's left
with flow cytometry (show a machine in action and Bruce Willis sayin 'Just the Fax, Maam')

When I'm killin you
I know it
'cuz it gives me green pee (picture? nah, better not)

Don't try to hide,
I'll find you
with PCR

when you're one in a million,
I'll still know where you are

Think that you're the chronic?
Well, don't even try it

Gonna eliminate you
like I did Gluten from my diet

Got a beautiful wife (picture of Christi)
and a baby-doll girl (picture of Claire)

Gotta live til I'm 70 (morph me from now til then)
so I can show her the world

I'm pushing the rock
and It's gonna move

H-(pause)-C-(pause)-L?
Well I got somethin to prove

10 years ain't enough
25? I need more!

That's why I'm in this trial
to find a cure, cure, cure, cure ...